Never ceasing
by Dissolved Starr
Summary: ( lost boys ) A mentally unstable girl struggles to find a place to belong in the world. Is there something more to her than meets the eye?


**CHANGES MADE AS OF 29/4/05:**

**Okay I had to remove the song lyrics from this story due to what ff . Net is saying. So when you see 888888888, imagine that there is song lyrics there. The good news is that this has actually reminded me of this story again and ive started to write a new chapter. Woo:D**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or themes from 'The Lost Boys'. I am not doing this for my own profit. I am only doing this for fun and I do not intend any infringement on the respective owners of the characters or theme. Oh, and I might use some of the dialogue from the film and that too does not belong to me.

Also, this fic is loosely based on an excellent song called "Far away" by a band named Cranes. The OC character I invented for this fic will also be singing some songs at some point during the story. They do not belong to me and I will highlight at the end of each chapter, who the song is by.

So don't sue me. I do this as a hobby, not for financial gain. Like anyone would really pay me for this anyways. :)

Summary:

A manic depressive girl struggles to find a place to belong in a world she doesn't fit in. Will she find her way and what will she learn about herself in the process?

This story is slightly AU and set in present day. The events of the film didn't take place and the lost boys still rule over Santa Carla.

Never ceasing

As soon as David stepped into the softly lit bar, his senses were flooded with the sickly odour of humanity. Humans were only good for one thing as far as David was concerned and he loathed being in close proximity to them unless he was hunting. He growled inwardly at the boys for bringing him to this place. He would much rather had gone to their usually haunt but the boys had persuaded him that this was a good place to pick up young, college types for snacks. Scanning the room David had to admit they were right. The young one always made the best meals; their blood was so full vigour and life. But it didn't make up for the fact that they would have to wait amongst these mortal till closing time before they could snag anyone, any more pleasurable.

Silently he moved his way through the throng of people, occasionally nudging them out of his path and made his way over to the bar, the rest of the lost boys flanking him. Once there, he pushed to the front of the queue and slammed his palm down on the counter, effectively catching the bartenders attention. He looked for a moment as though he was going to tell David to move to the back of the queue, but he hastily decided against it when he saw the malicious look David and his followers were giving him. He'd heard of a gang that walked the boardwalk and by all account they were not to be messed with.

"What can I get you boys?" He asked with and polite and friendly smile. David regarded the portly man for a moment before replying

"Four buds, bottled"

"Coming right up" The Bartender quickly got to work fulfilling his order.

"There you go" He said placing the uncapped bottles on the counter in front of him. David in return reached into his pocket and produced a wad of rolled up bills. Separating a few, he threw them down

"Keep the change" He said dejectedly as he picked up his bottle and began to walk away.

"Thanks, I hope you enjoy your night. We got a good live act on in a minute" He shouted after David's retreating form. Dwayne, Paul and Marko picked up their drinks and followed after their leader.

David weaved through the crowed effortlessly, trying to find a dark and preferably quiet corner to sit. He had to say he was quiet disappointed with the selection of snacks on display tonight. Sure they were all young blooded but they weren't anything special, nothing to make his blood boil with need. They were all dull and lifeless. In fact, he would bet that he was more alive than every mortal in this room, and he was by right, dead.

"And now, back by popular demand, we have the awesomely talented band, starblood" David heard someone announce from the stage, but he paid no attention, even when the crowd erupted in cheers as the melodic chimes of the instruments filled the air. All he was interested in was finding somewhere to sit and drink

But then suddenly a soft and childlike voice filled the air that made David stop abruptly. The dream-like tone of this girl's voice made something instantly snap inside of him. So expressive was her sorrow filled, innocent voice, that he already felt like he knew so much about her. Her pain, her doubt, her fear, her hatred... Everything. Not much threw David off but this had hit him like a ton of bricks, for a voice such as this should have been calming, but instead it was haunting.

**88888888888**

Gathering some poise, he looked towards the stage, searching for the owner of this pure untapped emotion. It wasn't hard to spot someone who was giving off as much energy as she was. And yet again he found himself floored by this unknown stranger. It was hard for him to imagine that the dainty, sweet looking figure that was propped up on a stool in the middle of the stage could radiate such energy. She looked calm, but inside he could sense she was screaming for help at the top of her lungs, not that these mere mortals would ever be able to hear something so subliminal

**8888888888888888**

Although David was a fair distance from the stage he could still scrutinize her entirely. What attracted him the most was her deep chocolate, almost black coloured eyes. To any human they would look empty or dull, but to someone looking as closely as he was, would see so much more. It was clichéd notion, but the eyes really were the window to the soul

**888888888888**

He could see in her eyes lost desperation. He could also sense that she too hated being round all these people and it was almost as though she was blocking them or was too involved in her own little world to notice them. But there was something about this girl that even David couldn't put his finger on, although he sensed it.

**8888888888888**

Paul, Dwayne and Marko had finally made their way over to where David was standing and when they got there they noticed their leader's detached look. They glanced at each other in silent query. But their questions were finally answered when they followed David's line of sight. The lost boys all simultaneously whistled.

"She's hot David. Do you wanna share tonight?" Asked Paul and Dwayne and Marko laughed. Paul's comment had managed to snap him out of his daze and he looked at them incredulously.

"You mean you don't see it? He asked

'There she goes, there she goes

Once lit a star that shone

Watched 'til it all was gone'

The Lost Boys looked back towards the stage, focusing their eyes and trying to see what David had. They had mostly the same empathic power as David; they just had to try harder to make them work. Suddenly they all startled back a bit.

"Whoa" Commented Dwayne

"What was that?" Paul asked. The song was finally fading out now.

"I don't know yet" He said, a frown marking his face. He began to walk towards the booth in the corner. There were already a few people sitting their, but with one menacing glare from David, they soon vacated.

David threw himself down on the plush seat and the rest of the lost boys quickly joined him, making their selves comfortable. He looked towards the stage and saw that the song was finished and they were getting ready to play the next. She picked up a guitar and placing it on one knee, began to strum a fast paced rhythm, almost Spanish like. And then that harmonious voice came and David was completely hooked again.

**88888888888888**

Although the song had an upbeat tempo, David saw the hidden meanings. The song finally faded out. David watch as the young girl rose from her stool and left the stage, signalling the end of her bands set. The crowd irrupted in cheers, but David's face was marred with a frown. He wanted to hear more. He stood up and focused his hawk like vision across the room, waiting to see if she would come out of the backstage door. To his delight he saw her quietly creep out of the door, sinking into the shadows and shying from people's attention.

She walked towards the bar and sat upon one of the stools. She put her elbows on the counter and rested her head in her palms, trying desperately to get hid of the pounding migraine in her head. She hated these kinds of places, the load music, the load people, and the load atmosphere. She used to love this kind of thing but now, with all the load noise that was going on in her head, she just couldn't take this as well.

Ed the barman caught sight of Maria out of the corner of his eye and sympathy flooded him. He'd known her for just over a year now and he had yet to see her smile. He made her usual drink, a triple vodka and cranberry juice and placed it in front of her. Ed knew that she wasn't 21 yet but he always choose to forget it and give her a break

She heard the clink of a glass as it hit the counter and she raised her head. Seeing the drink she started to reached into the back pocket of her jeans for money. But Ed's large hand stopped her.

"On the house" He said with a smile and she smiled back at him weakly. He retreated back to serve other costumers leaving Maria alone with her thoughts. She stirred her drink absently with a long cocktail stick and was so engulfed looking at the swirling liquid that she didn't even see David walk up and sit on the stool beside her.

"Hello" he said in his usual, deep husky voice.

Maria continued to stir her drink while she turned her head slightly and looked him up and down, but after she finished her quick once over she turned her attention back to her drink. David's brow furrowed at her denial of him. Maria then noticed people approaching to the right of her.

"Hey baby" Said a smirking Paul.

They got less of a reaction than David did. She simple just rolled her eyes. The she rose quickly from her seat and put on her jacket. Picking up her still full drink, she gulped down the cocktail, slamming the now empty glass back down.

"Thanks for the drink Ed" She said in a softly spoken voice that had a hint of an English accent, as she turned to walk towards the exit without so much as a second glance at the boys.

"Anytime" Ed shouted after her.

David made a signal to Paul that he wanted him to follow her so he got up and quickly followed in her trail.

"Hey" David growled, trying to get the barman's attention.

"Yes?" Asked Ed.

"Who's that girl?"

"You guys don't have a chance at her" Laughed Ed, but his happy mood quickly sobered at David's murderous look. "Er, her names Maria Deskey"

"Does she come here regularly?"

"Well she sings here every Friday. On Saturdays she sings at Bartley's. Any other night you can usually find her at Vernon's."

"Vernon's?"

"Yeah, it's a student club, just outside of campus"

"Right"

Ed looked him up and down.

"You wasting your time with her you know. In case you haven't noticed, she not exactly a social butterfly. And she's a good girl; I don't think you're her type" Said Ed with a hint of concern in his voice for the girl and David's attention towards her. David really wanted to kill this guy right now, but he restrained. This guy had information that he needed, so right now he way more useful alive then dead

"Why don't you let me worry about that" He said as he rose from his seat. He left in silence from the bar, Dwayne and Marko following. They had to get something to eat before they returned to the cave.

They made their kills within the hour before heading home, awaiting the news that Paul would bring.

As Maria finally approached her dorm she wasn't surprised to see yet another keg party in full swing. There was always a party on Friday night, and Saturday night... Hell, everyday of the week except Sunday was a party night on Santa Cruz College campus. Not that she ever attended these social gatherings. Firstly, she wasn't the social type. Secondly, the idea off getting drunk while frat boys tried to hit on you with lame ass pick up lines before they finally passed out and ending up dribbling on your shoes just didn't appeal to her oddly enough. If that made her weird then so be.

Maria took a deep breath and braced herself before walking through the front door of Lewisham Hall. The common room was packed with people all dancing to some obnoxiously load dance tune. She carefully made her way through the crowd towards the stairwell, bypassing the drunks and couple making out along the way.

She hurriedly climbed 4 flights and breathed a sigh of relief when she reached her floor, which was practically deserted. Being around people always made her feel uncomfortable, not that it was their fault, it was her. In fact her neighbours in Lewisham Hall had been very patient with her. They had always tried to get her to go to parties, to the beach, to the mall, etc. with them but she always declined. After a while they just kind of gave up on her and left her to her own devices.

She had overheard them talking about her once, about her withdrawn behaviour. She laughed for days when they came to the conclusion that she was that way simply because she was "Just being British". She was more then happy to let them think that if it meant that they would leave her alone. She kind of wished that that was the cause of her behaviour. It would have all been so simple then. But what made her this way unfortunately, was something much more deeply rooted and complex. Hell, she didn't even know what it was. 'Its everything' was the only answer she could ever muster. Someone by the name of Melanie Thernston once wrote it better. She wrote;

"It was like saw dust, the unhappiness:  
it infiltrated everything, everything was  
a problem, everything made her cry-  
school, homework, boyfriends, the  
future, the lack of future, the  
uncertainty of future, fear in general –  
but it was so hard to say exactly what  
the problem was in the first place"

That was the only thing that she found accurately described how she felt. The truth of it all was that she was lost in the dark and she had been there for what seemed so long that she no longer wanted to be rescued by the light. For even when she was a 'normal' kid, she never really fitted into that world. She'd always clung to the shadow, even if it was only subliminal.

Maria reached her dorm room door, fumbled with the key and then finally moved into the sanctuary of her apartments four walls. This is where she spent all of her time, when she wasn't performing or turning up to the odd class. Here she could find a bit of the peaceful solace she craved so dearly. When she had first arrived here she had had a roommate. But within a month she had left, citing that she couldn't handle Maria's madness any longer. Now it seemed that no one wanted to be her roommate, something of which se was certainly thankful of.

Maria flicked on the garish overhead fluorescing lights and promptly guarded her eyes from the harsh onslaught of light. Deciding that she couldn't stand it any longer, she switched it off again. Stumbling blindly across the room, she searched for here bedside lamp. Finally locating it and switching it on, the room was filled with a mute amber glow.

"That's better" She sighed.

She took off her shoes and leather jacket, haphazardly throwing them in a pile by her bed. When she had finished she walked over to her desk and turned on her stereo. A slow, sultry tune filled the room, slightly calming her anxious nerves.

Maria walked into her en suite bathroom and turned on the shower. Striping off her clothes, she stepped under the luke-warm spray. It cascaded down her soft, deathly pale skin in rivets. Her gaze settled on the cornflower blue marbled tiles, finding them oddly compelling. As she stared at them her thoughts drifted to Mr Blue eyed stranger at the bar tonight. Usually when guys hit on her she didn't even acknowledge them, but him, there was something about him she just couldn't put her finger on and it intrigued her to no end.

Before she knew it she had been standing there, staring at the wall, lost in thought for over forty minutes. The water had long since turned icy cold. She snapped out of her thoughts abruptly and shuddered, quickly climbing out of the shower basin and wrapping a towel around her body. She towelled dried her hair and brushed her teeth before returning to the bedroom. Picking out a par of shorts and tank top from her wardrobe, she got dressed.

"Okay, ready for bed" She thought allowed.

Heading towards her bed she stepped by the desk to switch off her stereo. A solitary framed photo caught her attention and she picked it up brining it closer to her face. She studied it intently. It was a picture of a family she once knew. One person in the picture held her attention the most though, the young, carefree girl with the bright smile. But she didn't even recognise this person anymore. She was nothing more than a distant memory and so were her family. Maria caught sight of her reflection in the wall mirror in front of her. She stared at herself, then at the picture and then back again. With her free hand she traced her image on the mirror

'So similar...' She pondered. '..But completely different'

Suddenly she burst into a fit of rage, the hand that once delicately stroked the mirror now lashed out, her palm connecting with the mirrored glass, shattering it to pieces. Again and again she pounded her palm against it, letting cries of despair leave her lungs, and streams of tears roll down her cheeks.

As her rage and adrenaline quickly drained she ceased her actions. She hadn't felt the effects of any of her actions while she was doing them, her nerves deadened. But now her muscles were cramped with fatigue. She raised her now heavy arm and looked at her palm. Blood was oozed from the cuts that were littered with shards of glass. She stared at the droplets of blood sliding down numbly, slowly backing her way in to the corner of the room.

Loud sobs were now escaping from her mouth. Not that anyone would hear them, with the thunderous music blaring from the party down stairs. And even if they had heard, she doubted anyone would have cared enough to leave the party and come to her aid.

She felt her back hit the wall and slowly began to slide down to the ground. Once there, she pulled her knees tightly against her chest and rested her head on to of them, trying desperately to regain some form of comfort. She rocked back and forth and gradually her sobs ebbed away as she fell into a deep sleep.

Ad through all that had transpired, Maria had been unaware of the piercing gaze that watched her intently from outside the window, astonished and dumbfounded by what he had seen

Well that's chapter 1. Hope u enjoyed it.

The songs I used in this chapter were 'Far away' and 'Shining road', both by a band called 'Cranes'. The quote I used was from 'The dead girl' by Melanie Thernstrom

R&R people


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